The Joy Podcast
A women's guide to living a joy-filled life. We are here to help women find their purpose and joy in the hard things of life by having real and raw faith-based conversations surrounding a woman's daily life. Topics include, motherhood, marriage, careers, friendships, and so much more.
The Joy Podcast
Surrendering Expectations for Spiritual Growth
What if the key to a joy-filled life is simply letting go of our expectations? Join Katrina Morris and Allison Jordan on the Joy Podcast as we tackle the profound concept of surrendering our expectations to God. Discover the stark differences between expectations and hope, and learn how aligning your beliefs with God’s plan can transform your daily life. We draw inspiration from Galatians 2:20, urging you to lay down human expectations and allow divine guidance to steer your journey.
Dive into our discussion on the importance of daily surrender for spiritual growth, much like flowers blooming in the right conditions. With scriptures such as Luke 9:23 and Proverbs 3:5-6 as our compass, we underscore the freedom that comes from trusting God’s plan. We explore how becoming ripe and fruitful Christians can uplift those around us rather than burden them. Start your path to spiritual flourishing by surrendering your life to the Lord and committing to live for His glory. This episode is packed with insights and encouragement to help you embrace daily surrender and find joy in God’s plan.
Welcome to the Joy Podcast, your women's guide to living a joy-filled life. We are your co-hosts, katrina Morris and Allison Jordan. We are grateful you joined us, as we have real and raw, faith-based conversations surrounding motherhood, marriage, careers, friendships and everything else in a woman's daily life that's right, ladies, grab your cup of coffee and pull up a chair as we dive into all the things.
Speaker 1:Hey everybody, welcome to today's episode of the Joy Podcast. We are excited you are here, and today we are talking about surrendering our expectations. That sounds deep, it is, but it's going to be good, so I'm expecting this to be a great episode. So, allison, let's talk a little bit about. When we say surrendering our expectations in our daily life. What does that look like and what does that really mean to surrender our expectations, and to what should our expectations even be?
Speaker 2:Yeah, Well, I think in life, we all have expectations. We have expectations of everything we do and every relationship we have, our jobs, everything. But let's look at, let's see what expectations really means first. So let's look at what the definition is. Expectations means a strong belief that something will happen or be the case in the future. Okay, so, and then some people say, well, expectations is the same thing as hope, right? Well, here's what the definition of hope is A feeling of expectation and desire for certain things to happen.
Speaker 1:So I mean, when you look at so, hope is more of a feeling, where expectation is more the knowledge.
Speaker 2:It's a strong belief of things to happen.
Speaker 1:So I mean I think we all.
Speaker 2:When you think about expectations, yeah, we all come into it.
Speaker 1:I mean, you know when I was driving here today.
Speaker 2:I expected to get here on time. Right, I expected to be here. You know we all have expectations and those are not a bad thing, yeah, but we're going to get into deeper today on what surrendering our expectations in our daily life and what that looks like for our relationship with the Lord.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and relationships with our spouses and our friends and family, and what that even looks like when our expectations aren't met and maybe we haven't surrendered to that, and how that impacts others around us really negatively. So you know, for me, from the business perspective, I think I do always have an expectation and, as most of us go to work every day, we have our day sort of planned out. There's nothing wrong with planning. But the expectation is, this is how it's going to go, this is what I think is going to happen. Here's what I'm going to work towards and accomplish going to happen. Here's what I'm going to work towards and accomplish, and that can mean from checking off the boxes of the to-do list to things that I need to organize and get done.
Speaker 2:And it always feels good to check off a box, oh it does.
Speaker 1:But surrendering that expectation is an important part of it, because I don't know that there's been more than one day in a row that all my expectations have been met.
Speaker 2:I don't even know if any day all of my expectations you make a good point there, because it's like we do, we come into the day with them. So when we talk about surrender that is a term, you know that is like a battle term yeah, surrender came up. And so when you think about what the true definition of surrender is, it says to give oneself up into the power of another. And so when you talk about surrendering our expectations to the Lord, I mean we're releasing that power that we have and saying, lord, we're giving, we're giving all of this back over to you because he is the one with the power. And so that is a that is a battle right, we're in a daily battle.
Speaker 2:I mean, it really is everything that we walk through of life. So talk more about how, when you're, when you talk about surrendering your expectations and say in your business, how does what does that look like?
Speaker 1:oh, how long do we have this?
Speaker 1:may be an extra long episode today so I think really, if we're going to get to the, the biblical point of view and the meaning of really surrendering, that we can talk about galatians 220. Yes, and it. It says I have been crucified with Christ, I am no longer I and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. That means that I have to lay down my own human expectations and say, okay, lord, I'm going to give you this day, you know what's going to happen, you know what needs to happen. And then to understand that it's very important for us to take the next steps. That's right, and sometimes he only lights the next step for us to see. Right, we don't have everything, yes, and so we can be hopeful and we can be expectant. But when the first thing goes wrong, what do we do? Do we fall apart? Do we come unglued? Is the whole day ruined? And you know, I've met people that have had a bad moment and then you hear them say my entire day is ruined.
Speaker 2:But that's not full surrender, and I've been wanting to say that before Years past where I've been, like this one thing you could be having an amazing day in one thing. You say your whole day is ruined. Well, no, maybe that moment was not great great, but your whole day hasn't.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's a change in perspective it is and we we really hope that you guys are getting that part I think we've drilled that in quite a bit is is our perspective changing and changing for you and understanding, okay, if something does go wrong, maybe you have to come back to it, maybe you compartmentalize it in that moment to say, okay, I have to shift my expectations and surrender, to say, okay, you know what, lord, I did not think that was going to happen. However, there's been an accident and now I'm 30 minutes late or I'm not able to arrive. You know when or where I thought I was going to be, and so you know, I've learned, and even the communication. So if it's something business wise, I am able to say, hey, I'm running late, something happened, and it doesn't make my whole day ruined, and a lot of people I mean honestly most people are appreciative of just the communication to say thanks for letting me know.
Speaker 1:I understand, there's no problem, and so you know, and that's such surface level things, yeah. But there's so many deeper expectations that we have If we're thinking about going deeper into our relationships family spouse children yeah, friendships. Family spouse children yeah, friendships. You know, we all have this expectation of she didn't call me today. Or he didn't pick up his socks right and now I've got to wash them, or the kids didn't finish their homework, or they didn't do their chores, and so my husband didn't smile at me when I you know, I said this when I came out with my new shirt on.
Speaker 2:You know, we have all of these expectations and putting them down and surrendering it really is a daily thing that we have to do. It is daily A hundred percent. But it can turn your whole day around for the better when you surrender your expectations and say, lord, here's my expectations for the day. Now what would you have and like you were talking about, you know, in business or whatever being stuck in traffic for 30 minutes and having to text somebody and say I'm going to be 30 minutes late and it could ruin our day.
Speaker 1:Right, I've been there before, yeah.
Speaker 2:Or we could say okay, lord, thank you for whatever. You protected me from Right. Thank you for an understanding client, thank you for the you know, and turning it back to praise or turning it back to gratitude really helps in that time of surrendering those expectations?
Speaker 1:Absolutely, and that's really what we're called to do is surrender it all.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You know, in the mornings I do say that a lot because in the mornings are peaceful, you get up earlier and for me I get up before the children, and so it does allow me to surrender the day, put the day in his hands, and it is a moment by moment situation. Sometimes we know we're encountering something that's extra difficult, or we have a extra difficult call or meeting or something a doctor's appointment and surrendering that to say you know what, God, I'm asking that today you give peace in my heart. That's right. Bring me peace beyond any understanding. Yeah, and yeah, picking up, then, the armor of God, which is a whole other episode, but it's finding the strength in the Lord and taking up our cross. People say and we've, we've talked about this before oh, when I get saved, I'm going to. You know, God is going to answer all my desires and I think we're going to read that verse, but it's. He's going to give you the desires of your heart. But that's not true.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's in Psalm 37, four. It says delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. But here's and we've talked about this before, but here's the thing is first of all it says delight yourself in the Lord. If we are truly delighting ourselves in the Lord, our whole, our whole, everything has changed. Our mindset has changed, our heart has changed in that and the desires of our heart become what he desires for us. That goes back to that surrender when I trust him fully and I delight myself in him. Do you know how easy it is to surrender my expectations and say, lord, I want to walk in your will today and my desire is what you desire for me. There is so much freedom in that?
Speaker 1:Oh, absolutely. And you know, when we talk about freedom, I think about the word flourish, oh yeah. And at the end of the day, when we've gone through our workday, parenting, whatever, mothering wife, and yeah, if our expectations haven't been met, are we grumpy, are we irritable? Sometimes I am. And and I think that's where we have to recognize did I surrender? Yeah, okay, did I wholeheartedly surrender?
Speaker 2:I think I don't even have to answer that I'm happy because you know, I already know.
Speaker 1:And so what happens? Our reactions to the expectations, or the lack of people meeting our expectations, determines how we treat other people.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:And I would challenge you to look into the mirror and think okay, am I irritable every day? Do my kids say, mom, you fuss all the time? Because I have said that at different seasons of my life and I've had to really think about am I expecting too much from them? How can I shift? And so the flourishing really comes in from that? Um, surrendering our expectations. And so we have to put our faith into action.
Speaker 1:Yeah, when we don't see other people living up to our expectations, we have to know that faith, put the faith in the Lord, to surrender to him, and that he will keep us steady, he will keep us encouraged and he will still bring us peace in the midst of nobody being able to meet our expectations.
Speaker 1:And I can say, from coming from a place of a recovering perfectionist, I fall back into that more frequently than I would like to admit, because as a perfectionist, there's never an expectation that's met, because in our minds, right our human minds, and especially from coming from a place of perfection, we are never going to be perfect, nothing is ever going to be perfect. And so on the days when I've been extra irritated, irritable, moody, I have to look at did I surrender? Did I surrender my expectations today? Did I surrender my thoughts, my plans, and once I did that and I've come to have to do that a lot on the daily really surrender, and daily the flourishing happens. So you think of a caterpillar, or you think about just a rose blossoming, or you know my favorite flowers, favorite flowers, hydrangeas. They're blooming and you think of flourishing as just that. We're growing in our relationship with Christ. But at some point, if we don't surrender, we won't achieve the full ripening that he has for us.
Speaker 2:And you think, if you have so many expectations on your clients, your kids, your husband, your friends, I mean think of the bondage that causes. I mean, if I have so many expectations on everything, I am going to be miserable. But when I can surrender those expectations before the Lord and that frees up all of those, frees up my kids, my husband, my friends, because I'm putting so many barriers on them, absolutely.
Speaker 2:And that is they can't walk in that freedom if I'm putting all that expectation on them. And so when I surrender that down before the Lord and say Lord, I want, I want you to have this and that is, you know, taking up my cross daily, and that is. I think I was going to read that. That was in. It's actually in the gospels, it's in mark, but I'm going to read also from luke 9, 23.
Speaker 2:It says um, then jesus said to them if anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.
Speaker 2:So when, when we're thinking in those terms, well, we're not actually picking up a cross, I mean it's not a physical cross but when we think of our daily life here and I love this is the Life Application Study Bible and I love the note in here and I want to read this because for the original 12 disciples this meant literal suffering and death. When he was talking about you must deny himself, take up his cross and follow you. For believers today, that means right now. It means understanding that we belong to him, we belong to the Lord and that we live to serve his purposes. So when I think about that in terms of okay, I'm going to lay down all these expectations I have based on everybody else, even the expectations on myself. I'm going to lay them down and I'm going to recognize that I, I live to serve my master, my Lord, my savior. I am going to walk differently. It's going to be freeing to me, it's going to be freeing to everybody else, and that's that flourishing you talk about, about.
Speaker 1:I mean, I can almost see that as we walk in that freedom, we're good, we are going to bloom and flourish for him yes, and other people are going to see that it's going to be contagious what we have to share and to give others when other. You know when other people separate from us, or we have a meeting and they go away from us, or our friends you know we depart from dinner or whatever. They should be better than they were, even if they're hurting. Or you know just the conversation. We are to be fruits for him.
Speaker 2:I don't want somebody to leave my presence and think man, I couldn't do anything right for her.
Speaker 1:Right, Absolutely. And I think, oh man, every time I'm around her I feel worse when I leave than when I get with her, and there are people like that and I know some people like that and my husband has had some friends like that and acquaintances I probably had sometimes when I was like that? Yeah, I probably had sometimes.
Speaker 2:yeah, I'm sure I asked my husband and kids I probably have, and that is not who I want to be absolutely so it takes that refocus back on the lord, surrendering those expectations to walk in freedom for him, because that is what it's all about. My life is not, for. My life on this earth is to bring him honor and glory, and so does. What does that look like? Well, that looks like a lot of different things, but it starts with that daily surrender?
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely. And in Proverbs 3, 5, and 6, it says trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not rely on your own understanding and all your ways, know him and he will make your path straight. When we recognize that we don't have to carry the burden of figuring everything out and having our expectations met daily, that's where the freedom comes, that's where the flourishing comes and that's where the freedom comes, that's where the flourishing comes and that's where we understand he's got us, oh, yeah. And it starts with the discipline of surrendering our hearts, our minds, and asking him to let us see life through his eyes absolutely and that you're right.
Speaker 1:That's where it really starts. And then we start to see fruits come about. You know, rotten fruit eats itself. It's just this funky, nasty, but what it does is it contaminates the others. It sure does. And so we are to be ripe fruit. Yeah and um. What is the verse? Um, I am the vine, you are the branches. Oh, yes, that's in in john but we have another episode.
Speaker 2:We were actually talking about that is, we want to do an episode on that and staying close to the vine, so be looking for that, yeah what are the fruits of the spirit?
Speaker 1:So that's something that we want to emulate.
Speaker 2:You know and when we talk about, if you're listening to this today and you're like, well, okay, that all sounds good and how? But I mean, how do we go about surrendering what? What do I need to do? Well, the first step in surrender is is to to surrender your life to the Lord, is to surrender your life to the Lord. If you have not done that, surrender your life to the Lord, accept him as the Lord of your life and start there. Salvation is where it starts, and giving your life to Jesus fully. And then, like we read in scripture, in Mark and in Luke, where it says to daily, deny yourself, take up your cross and follow him. So that is an ongoing thing.
Speaker 2:That doesn't mean, okay, just on Mondays or on Sundays. That says daily. So that is going to be a daily thing where we follow him each and every day. So start your day there. When you wake up in the morning, say, lord, I surrender all my expectations over to you today. Help me walk fully. But there again, like we said, that doesn't mean we don't walk in a plan. We're surrendering all that before the Lord and saying, lord, here's the plans that I have, but, lord, if that doesn't line up with your will. I want what your will is for my life. So I'm going to delight myself in you, lord. I'm going to delight myself in the Lord, psalm 37, 4. And he will give us the desires of our heart, because our desires line up with him, and that's where we're going to walk in that.
Speaker 1:Absolutely, and I can tell you 100% that when you lay down and you surrender your expectations daily, his plans are always better. When we only look at the day by day, that's all we can see. We are so human and we are so small compared to him and his infinite wisdom and the plan for our life that he has. And so he sees the big picture, he knows the big picture. Each Christian person has an allotted portion that we are to be in charge of on this side of heaven. That's right, and I don't want to miss anything. Yeah, and so if we are fully surrendering, we're going to mess up Absolutely.
Speaker 1:And that's where grace comes in right and that's where we just okay, lord, I didn't surrender that to you, but I'm going to move forward and do it. He is such a forgiving God and I think we got to understand that he doesn't fit in a little box, that he will forgive us, that he will take the burden from us. We can rest, he will take the burden from us.
Speaker 1:We can rest, we can walk, we can have joy. Even when there's grief there and even when the expectations aren't being met, we can give it to him. And that's where the freedom comes, and that's where we can flourish.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I think that that is a desire we all have is to flourish and bloom and grow, and so our, our desire is to see you flourish and bloom, and just to lay down those expectations and know that, ok, if my expectation today didn't get met here and not missing what he had, just like you said a minute ago is we don't want to miss those opportunities, those divine interruptions, we may call them where okay, this wasn't part of my expectation today, but what did God have for me in this?
Speaker 2:And then there's so much freedom in that, and that's where we flourish and grow Absolutely.
Speaker 1:And I would leave you with a challenge, and that is to get a notebook.
Speaker 1:It can be a I don't even know if they have notebooks under a dollar anymore they used to Maybe at the dollar and a quarter tree but get a notebook, whether you go buy a pretty one that is beautiful, or whether you just go get a college rule spiral notebook and journal, and it doesn't have to. You know, and that's a challenge that I just feel really pressed upon my heart, because when we only live the day by day, we don't see the big picture. And so, reiterating my point earlier and what we're trying to express through this podcast and this episode, is if you're journaling and it could even be okay, thank you, lord, for today or today didn't go as planned. There's no right or wrong way to journal, it's just a matter of when you have it on paper. It doesn't have to be long or short. That's the expectation we have to surrender. You just pick up the pen, have a few minutes and write down the day, right, and so what happens over that time is you recognize, oh, wow, god there was a plan.
Speaker 1:Oh, I see your hand in this and to look back on this and we think our memories are great. They're not. They are not great. And there are many opportunities that I've been able to go back and look at my journal and recognize, wow, and that makes us even more thankful. And then being able to surrender more to him.
Speaker 1:So, that's a challenge I want to leave you is a journal and just start writing day by day, every few days. Don't make it hard, but just journal. And then, allison, you want to lead us out today.
Speaker 2:We thank you for joining us. Like we always say, I don't ever want to take that lightly that we have listeners on the other side Of this screen, on the other side of this podcast, that are listening. We pray that this blesses you. We pray for you. We pray that this encourages you to continue to walk out this joy filled life that God has for you, and so leave us a comment, leave us a five star review. Let us know what this episode meant to you, or maybe you've gone back and listened to some of our previous episodes. We'd love to hear your feedback on that as well, because we are here for you. These are things that God has led in us and has worked in us, that we are sharing with you, so some of these raw and real moments will continue to happen as we share things that God is working in us.
Speaker 1:Yes, Nothing is scripted, that's right. We have our verses and we have our topic, but we really allow the Lord to speak through us and to you, and so we know that if you hear this and you're listening, there's a reason, and so he sees you, he knows who you are, and so take heart that this message is for you, and we want you to flourish as well. That's right.
Speaker 2:So thanks, guys. Continue to surrender those expectations. We can't wait to talk to you on the next episode That'll be out next week. We'll see you then.
Speaker 1:Thank you for joining us for this episode of the Joy Podcast. Our passion is to help you find your purpose and joy in the hard things of life.
Speaker 2:Join our conversation by liking, following and subscribing so you don't miss the next episode. We are grateful for you and would love your feedback. Please leave us a five-star review, wherever you listen to this podcast.