Can prioritizing your marriage transform your family life? Join us on the Joy Podcast as we share our heartfelt experiences and practical insights on putting the husband-wife relationship first, even in the chaos of raising young children. Katrina reveals how she and her husband have kept their bond strong, emphasizing that an unwavering marital connection is essential as children grow up and eventually leave home. Allison illustrates the profound impact of small, consistent acts of love, such as greeting her husband with a hug upon his return, showcasing the importance of modeling a godly marriage for their kids. Together, they highlight how attending conferences and joining supportive communities can fortify marital ties, making the journey of parenting more cohesive and loving. We dive into the beauty of creating intentional moments that leave lasting impressions. From stargazing nights to navigating the unique challenges of raising boys and girls, we emphasize the significance of prayer and instilling values.
Beyond the immediate family, we also tackle the complex dynamics of maintaining relationships with extended family members, underscoring virtues like humility, patience, and deliberate effort. Through personal stories, we remind you that while family life can be messy and challenging, the love and dedication poured into these relationships are undeniably worthwhile. Tune in for an inspiring conversation that celebrates the essence of living intentionally within the family.
Can prioritizing your marriage transform your family life? Join us on the Joy Podcast as we share our heartfelt experiences and practical insights on putting the husband-wife relationship first, even in the chaos of raising young children. Katrina reveals how she and her husband have kept their bond strong, emphasizing that an unwavering marital connection is essential as children grow up and eventually leave home. Allison illustrates the profound impact of small, consistent acts of love, such as greeting her husband with a hug upon his return, showcasing the importance of modeling a godly marriage for their kids. Together, they highlight how attending conferences and joining supportive communities can fortify marital ties, making the journey of parenting more cohesive and loving. We dive into the beauty of creating intentional moments that leave lasting impressions. From stargazing nights to navigating the unique challenges of raising boys and girls, we emphasize the significance of prayer and instilling values.
Beyond the immediate family, we also tackle the complex dynamics of maintaining relationships with extended family members, underscoring virtues like humility, patience, and deliberate effort. Through personal stories, we remind you that while family life can be messy and challenging, the love and dedication poured into these relationships are undeniably worthwhile. Tune in for an inspiring conversation that celebrates the essence of living intentionally within the family.
Speaker 1:
Welcome to the Joy Podcast, your women's guide to living a joy-filled life. We are your co-hosts, katrina Morris and Allison Jordan. We are grateful you joined us, as we have real and raw, faith-based conversations surrounding motherhood, marriage, careers, friendships and everything else in a woman's daily life that's right, ladies, grab your cup of coffee and pull up a chair as we dive into all the things.
Speaker 2:
Hello everybody, and welcome back to this episode on our series, intentional Living, and we're excited to dive into another great episode. This time we're talking about that intentionality in our family relationships. Whether we're talking about that intentionality in our family relationships, whether we're talking about our at-home immediate family or those extended family. So, katrina, talk to us a little bit today. Why don't you start us off and let's kind of touch on that immediate family relationship first, and living intentionally yeah, so well, we'll start.
Speaker 1:
You know, if you're, if you're married and you have young children, you know it really takes a lot more intentionality to be present with each other and with your children, and so it's been. So we have three kids and our oldest is now 21. So we've been there for a long time and so when he was young, it was very difficult to get time away because you have to take care of them and take care of their needs, and so really keeping that husband and wife relationship at the forefront of having small children is the utmost importance, because we're only given our children for a short time and, as we know, when they get to be teenagers and grown adults, you know our spouses are still there, and so, you know, for Scott and I it's been very important to just and we've gotten better at it over the years. You know it has to start somewhere and then, over time, you get better and you learn how to do that. But, um, keeping our spouse relationship close and doing things that we love as a whole family when the kids are a little bit older and as they're growing, has been important.
Speaker 1:
But, yeah, I think that's probably one of the biggest things with our immediate family and our young children is because it's easy to. It's easy to put our children first, absolutely as women, we birth them and so they need nurture, they need care and so as moms, you know we have the mom guilt. You know we want to take care of our babies and all that. But what happens with that is sometimes our spouses feel left out or they don't feel important, and you know that's the same thing with, you know, um, know you know maybe husbands and the boys or you know that, and so we could feel like I'm not as important. We talked about marriage last week, but really, going deeper into that, it's just about the family dynamic and so what you we were talking earlier and you were sharing something about the way when your kids were little and how you and Matt um prioritized each other. What tell me about that?
Speaker 2:
Yeah Well, I agree with you. When we nurture and show intentionality in that immediate family, um for us it was always showing intentionality of our to our kids, that our spouse my husband was the most important, important. Yeah, our kids are so important to us and, like we said, nurturing and caring for them because God gifted those children to us and they are three of the best blessings of my life.
Speaker 2:
But we showed intentionality by showing them what a godly marriage looked at and looked like and so that was very important to us, and so I, when we had kids even before we had kids Matt and I always shared that we were going to show our kids that we were each other's person. I mean because when those kids moved out and I only have one left at home, those kids they do leave the nest.
Speaker 2:
And as hard as that is. They leave to start their own families, and that's how God intended that. But my husband is mine forever, yes, and I am his.
Speaker 2:
We are one, and so we wanted to model for our kids that we were each other's person and so when Matt would come home from work in the afternoons, I would always, usually be waiting at the door. Sometimes I didn't hear him come up, but my kids always knew mama got the first hug. I mean my husband, he was always gonna hug his wife, yeah, before he hugged his kids, and that was how we raised them. So it would be funny because the kids would line up behind me, they would get in line who was gonna get the hug behind mom, and if I wasn't at the door they would be running for me.
Speaker 2:
Mom, dad's home, you have to get the first hug so they would know that mom got the first hug and that was just one small way yeah, to show our kids that your spouse, that is your person, and we wanted our children to feel loved and secure, to know that their parents loved each other, and so that was always very important and we were very intentional, yeah, about that when they were growing up.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, we and I can see that. I mean, it is very easy to allow your children to sleep in the bed with you and do all of those things, and, and our kids did that. I will say that, yeah, but there did come a time where he and I felt a strain on our relationship and so we knew for ourselves, um, that it was time to put our relationship first. And we went to a conference years ago uh, gabe was very little, and it was called a weekend to remember. It was a Christian conference, and so even that um was very important.
Speaker 1:
If you don't think you're going to learn anything, or your marriage is okay, still attending conferences or classes or, you know, be a part of a community at church. That is talking about marriage, because every marriage, it's easier to love your children than it is to love your spouse, right, and and I know that I'm maybe stepping on some toes right now, but it is true and so you just have to work harder, yeah, you know, at marriage. And so in this a weekend to remember conference I never will forget, the speaker was explaining how him and his wife had coffee every night after dinner. I don't do. I do one cup of coffee a day in the morning. So I'm like, okay, I'm not, I'm kind of tuning him out Right.
Speaker 1:
But the the thought it was not necessarily about the coffee, it was the intentionality behind it Him and his wife, every night, for 30 minutes after dinner, sat. They released the kids, or released the children, the cracking, um, no, so they you know the children got up and they went to do their thing and they said unless someone is, you know, very hurt or bleeding, bones are poking out, leave us alone. This is mine and your mama's time to connect and talk, and that really sat with us. We had never really thought about that before, and so that was that became very important.
Speaker 1:
We didn't necessarily have coffee and we don't even sit 30 minutes after dinner now, but we were able to implement the marriage being first before the kids, and we were able to explain listen, you're here for a short time, we're raising you to go be on your own and raise your own family. Your daddy and I, or your mama and I, are here forever, and that's it. When you set that, especially now, the divorce rate is extremely high. It's important because the children, the young kids, they need the boundaries and the security of that, and so if we're able to do that, I think that's just something that it sets the standard and whether your kids are 1, 2, or you know, it's not too late if they're still in your home.
Speaker 2:
Well, and it shows the kids, it shows that parents are united. Um, and I know it shows kids get secure in the fact of knowing that their parents love each other. Um, so that was very important for us to show affection to each other in front of our kids, to hug each other, to have a dance in the kitchen together.
Speaker 1:
And I can hear now eww, yes, I remember hearing those things, eww.
Speaker 2:
But you know, as I've heard from my kids tell me, my daughter especially has said you know that always brought her security because she knew her parents loved each other. So intentionality when our kids are young is showing a healthy marriage. It is, you know, showing times where we can pour into them, being intentional in relationships with them. You know you have three kids. I have three kids.
Speaker 2:
Each of them are so different yeah they're so amazing and each so different, so, pouring into each one of them, finding their differently their likes and their dislikes and knowing what those are and you know, having kids that love to fish or love to play ball or love dance or things like that no one what they love and show an interest in that being intentional and those relationships when they were growing, is so important. Being able to just kind of let everything go one night and just have fun with the kids yes, we loved those family nights of just rolling around on the floor watching a movie.
Speaker 1:
I know you were talking about movie nights in the house. I will not let Scott have a recliner, because it's too critical for us to just snuggle on the sofa yes, and watch movies or just snuggle on the sofa like I don't have anything against recliners overall. I mean, I kind of do, I'm a designer and they're just they're just right, they've not always made them the pretty.
Speaker 1:
They've come a long way. Yes, um, so anyway, and he it's a running joke in the family now, but, um, the kids will say, no, mom won't let dad get a recliner because they'll be sitting by herself, and so it has been something that is now very intentionally talked about. Yeah and um, and I love that because that's just our thing now, and I think it has allowed us to stay close and we all pile up on the sofa. Our 21-year-old not so much anymore.
Speaker 2:
I know when they get older they don't like to pile up as much. No, they don't. It's harder, they don't.
Speaker 1:
But we'll have to say, okay, we'll watch a movie with you, but it is, it's just important to just be there together, connected, and um, it's very important because you know, like you said, the kids, they do grow. All of all, three of mine are, um, they like different things and so when you get together, that is even a challenge too, because you're having to find common commonalities among five different people. Right when you want to come together, where do you want to go do this, or do you want to go do this? And so, um, it is a lot of challenge involved in that, but being intentional to say to each of the children we can, can do this tonight, we can do this another day, or, you know, letting them see that you do individually take, I guess, love, that you love each one individually, yeah, you recognize their differences.
Speaker 1:
Yeah.
Speaker 2:
And the wonderful creations that they are and how God created them to be and meet them where they are. And, you know, I think about when my kids were little and different things we tried to instill as a family and, of course, having those family times around the dinner table, sharing about our day together, being intentional to hear about their day or, you know, finding those moments. You know, we lived a little far out from the school, so it was those car rides into the school in the mornings and we'd be driving in and singing together or hearing about their day, because you know as the kids grow and you're like, so, tell me about your day. It was fun. Oh, it was fun, you know. But listening to them talk, hearing about what they did, or using those, I always called them teachable moments, yeah. Or using those, I always called them teachable moments, yeah when they would share something that they were going through. And how could I take that and pour into them and pour scripture back into them and turn it around into a teachable moment? You know, I never wanted to take those for granted.
Speaker 2:
Or the moments where I remember one night coming home it was on a Wednesday night, it was still kind of cold outside and we had come home from church that Wednesday night and the sky we had had so many cloudy days and it was had just been nasty, but the sky was incredible, the stars were shining and we were getting ready to walk in, we were all tired and I said kids, come on back outside, so they all come out. I said everybody lay down right here in the driveway and they're looking at me like I had three heads and I said let's just lay down here. And we all laid down on that cold concrete because it was a little cold outside and we just looked up to look at the creation God had. And I remember I will never forget that moment because in our busyness that day and we were all tired from school and work and going to church and we were ready to go in and go to bed, but I remember just sitting there and in an intentional moment of just saying, you know, let's take a break and let's admire and and be grateful for this creation God gave us.
Speaker 2:
And so when I think about those times, I loved those times when my kids were growing up. I know I didn't get it all right, um, but you know those intentional moments of. Where could I pour God's word into them? Where could I show them about a godly marriage with their mom and dad? Where could I show them that they were loved and adored and valued in who they are? And so that was always so important to me. And so, moms of littles out there, I know it's hard and you'll find those intentional moments to just pour into them.
Speaker 1:
Moms of teenagers it's hard, and what do they say? The days are long but the years are short.
Speaker 2:
So true.
Speaker 1:
And I will cherish forever being able to pray on the way to school with my oldest. And boys are different than girls and so he has never really been very open, but I know I could grab his hand and he would never pull away and just say a prayer with him and I know that at his core and he I pray right that he will do that with his children and know that. You know this is what my mom did, so we are instilling values in them and when we set the boundaries and just express ourselves, and even in our weakness, you know what we're going through and I think that is being intentional. To say that as well, yeah, we're not going to go through.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, and let them to go through. Let them know when you messed up.
Speaker 1:
Yeah and let them you know, let them know. I've been there, done that, because when they go through their problems they're mom, you don't know anything, you don't know what you're talking about. But letting them know maybe you feel the same way about another problem that you're having and you feel defeated in that moment and feel defeated in that moment and so it just gives them strength in the Lord. And you know, and it's not too late if you are, your kids are grown, you know it's not too late to continue to pour into them and just be intentional with them, no matter what age that they are, absolutely. But then let's talk about a little bit more of the extended family, allison. Tell us a little bit about you know that and how we can cultivate and be intentional with our relationships with our extended family.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, I mean extended family can be a hard thing to navigate. Amen to to navigate, amen, um, because I think we've probably all everybody listening we've all been in situations where maybe there's been tension in extended family situations. But here's what I know family is glorious, family is messy and family is worth fighting for. And so to show intentionality and family relationships, um, yeah, it can be hard to navigate, but it's so worth it, yeah, so just, you have to look at the family member. Like, I have a very large family. Yeah, I have a brother and four sisters, and of course we all have our children, and now they have grandchildren I don't yet. And so our family is very, very large, and I think about showing intentionality in that it does look differently now than it did when we were growing up.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, but you know, one of the things me and my sisters do is we go away every year on an annual sister trip. Now, I'm the only one of me and my siblings that still have a child living in the home. Everybody else we're all almost all empty nesters and so, being very intentional in that, to nurture that relationship, my sister-in-law will come. Last year when we went away, my brother even came down and had Krispy Kreme donuts oh, that's so we made it a whole, were they hot and ready?
Speaker 2:
absolutely that's the only way we go in our family and so just to be intentional, because life is messy and crazy and now our kids are grown and moving out and they have kids of their own. So you know, it gets harder to nurture and be intentional in those. So it's just finding ways to do that you know, with you know cousins and things like that. It's hard when you live apart. I know you were talking about that now that you moved away from family and live here.
Speaker 1:
Yeah, how is that hard for you? Yeah, well, when you're talking about just um, your brother came down and just spending that time together. I'll share ephesians 4 too, and it says with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another. Another words are hard in love, making every effort to keep the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace. And and I think that's so important to understand that you know family, family is hard and when you are grown and you have your extended family, and they have their children, and you have your children, and it's about respecting each other. But it's about coming humbly before each other, right, and understanding that you're not gonna do the same thing that your sister's doing or your brother's doing, but it is coming together and respecting each other and being able to share the burden of well, no matter what we're going through specifically, parenting is still hard, family is still hard to navigate and then, as we are, you know, getting our kids are older and then we see right now that our parents are getting older as well.
Speaker 1:
It's the intentionality behind aging parents and, with mine being in another state now, I do talk to them very often on the phone. We text, we chat. They have come to visit, my extended family has come to visit, and I'm much more intentional to make every moment count. You know, I think, when you live close to each other, sometimes those moments, just I don't know, they just, they're forgotten. You know, they're taken advantage of to a certain point where, yeah, it's like oh, life is just busy and then you're down the street and I can go visit.
Speaker 1:
But you know, our pastor did a series on one month to live. But I would even go as far as one day to live. What if? Because we don't know when we're going to leave this earth exactly? What if we only had one day? What if today was our last day? Have you reached out to your family, to everyone who you want to reach out to? What would you do differently if you knew that today was your last day, for your parents, for your kids, for your extended family? And I think we just have to remember that, that we don't know when our time is going to come and God gave us our family, even if we don't agree with God, right.
Speaker 1:
I mean they are our family and we are to love and honor and respect and be humble before them. And there's conflict. So when there's conflict, it's important for us to pray, to seek the Lord, for us to pray, to seek the lord absolutely, um, and to move toward restoration and allow the lord to build that road of restoration, because I think there there is a lot of brokenness in family and, um, there's a lot of this day and age hurt, pain, strife, brokenness, and we are just called to live in what God has given to us, our purpose. And there may not be restoration on the horizon, but we are called to still pray and seek the Lord and ask, even look in the mirror and ask yourself what have you done? Have you contributed to, perhaps, the issue at hand? And then humbly come before that person and ask for forgiveness, repentance, you know, to the Lord and that person and we were talking about earlier, because all, all relationships usually are a two way street.
Speaker 2:
We've talked about this in our relationship with the Lord. To have a relationship, it takes both people right and you know any kind of great relationship. You talk to that person, they talk back, so you know each other. That's what makes a great relationship. When there's areas that are strained, like you said, sometimes it can feel like a one way street, like you're the one that's always reaching out, you're the one that's always doing all of this. Yeah, all we can, all we can manage, is what we do to honor and glorify the lord and leave the rest up to the lord. We can walk towards that, that fullness of that relationship, and do our part, but then we leave it in the Lord's hands. You know, I think of my mom, who has always modeled such an amazing intentionality and I mean I say this all the time I want to be like her when I grow up. But my mom has five kids, 14 grandkids I don't even know how many great grandkids now, because we got more coming Like they're constantly coming. So our family, is huge.
Speaker 2:
And she purposely, on purpose, deliberately, lives, intentionally to pour into all of us on a daily basis. There may be a day I usually talk to my mom every day, but there might be a day when I haven't called her. But she doesn't just sit there and wait for me.
Speaker 1:
Yeah.
Speaker 2:
Like she will recognize and say you know what? I'm going to call her today and see how she's doing, or I'm going to text her and pray over her. She'll do that with my children, she'll do that with my sisters and their children. I mean my brother, I mean all of us, and it's just that intentionality and relationships, and so that is how we're close is because there's it's a back and forth, but, like you said, sometimes it's it's a one way street. So we have to be accountable to the Lord for how we handle those relationships. Yeah, and that's all we can do. And, like you said, um, if there's an area where we have messed up in the relationship, repent before the lord and go to that person and then walk towards healing and restoration, um, and leave the rest up to the lord, and that that can be hard, but it's family is worth it, family is family.
Speaker 2:
And God gave us the families that we have. Yes, and we should be grateful for that. And work towards healing and restoration always and be intentional to love and care for each other.
Speaker 1:
So important, absolutely, absolutely, and I think this has just been so important to just talk about. And as you're talking about that a little bit deeper, we'll wrap it up with Galatians 6, 2. And it says carry one another's burdens. In this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ. Wow, sounds like family so beautifully. Yeah, family is here to carry one another's burdens and I can tell you that, since I've moved, the intentionality of that is important to call and cultivate and say how are you, how are you? And cultivate and say how are you, how are you? And caring each other's burdens because it does get hard and life gets hard is so important and I think that's really the essence of intentional living with your family.
Speaker 2:
So if you're out there listening today, I want to encourage you to reach out to that family member, whether it's a child, whether it's your spouse, whether it's a parent, a sibling. Reach out now. Don't wait for that person. Reach out right now and let them know you love them, let them know you care for them, pray over them.
Speaker 1:
And I'm going to do the same. Yeah, and you know and I think something else is, maybe this might be stepping on toes Don't expect anything in return, right, because when we, when we do something, expecting something else to happen or that other person to, we, have an expectation of how they should react, it may not come, then we set ourselves up for disappointment.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, that goes back to just being obedient to what.
Speaker 1:
God calls us to do so. Reach out, but just reach out because that's the right thing to do. Yeah, not waiting for something. Not waiting for something, not wanting something in return. If you want reconciliation, it will come in the right time, but just reach out and then move on, because you've done the right thing.
Speaker 2:
Yeah we stay accountable to the lord for how we handle the intentionality in our relationships with our family. Um, and then we leave the rest up to the lord, and waiting on him isn't always easy, but it's worth it yes, yeah, it's never easy, that's right, but you're right, it is worth it.
Speaker 1:
And it is worth, um, it's priceless, yes, you know. And so, as we wrap up this episode, we hope it inspired you. Thank you again, um. Leave us a five-star review. We appreciate you. We are here to share some encouragement and inspiration. We want to share our own stories and just be vulnerable and authentic to you and talk about intentional living. That's right. So next episode will be about.
Speaker 2:
We're going to talk about intentional living and friendships and other relationships, because those are just as important and we want to be intentional there too. So thank you for joining us today. We're excited to go into this series a little bit more, and we'll see you on the next episode.
Speaker 1:
See you guys later. Thank you for joining us for this episode of the Joy Podcast. Our passion is to help you find your purpose and joy in the hard things of life.
Speaker 2:
Join our conversation by liking, following and subscribing so you don't miss the next episode. We are grateful for you and would love your feedback. Please leave us a five-star review, wherever you listen to this podcast.